Post 19 ~ Revision Project Reflection

Peer review for the Revision project was smoother than in the other projects we have done and rougher in other ways. This time we had to review projects for one set of people and another set of people were reviewing our projects. The rough part came in when I forgot about that and noticed someone reviewing my project that I hadn’t reviewed theirs. She reminded me so all was well. Another rough part of this review was that I kept waiting for people to review my project on the Google doc and only ended up with one reviewer, plus my outside reviewer. I gave up waiting, though, and finalized the doc because both my one peer reviewer and my outside reviewer said much of the same thing.

I reviewed two of my three assigned peer projects and found it more frustrating than the others we have done this semester. One of my assigned peers for review didn’t have a paper to review, another of my peers was only partially done with her project so I could only comment on what was done and make a few comments on the things she said she was planning for the part that wasn’t completed. That left me with one project to review that was a complete draft. Unfortunately, it was on the subject of a gaming fandom community, which is as foreign to me as eating haggis in an ancient mountaintop castle. I hate doing reviews on subjects that I don’t know anything about. I always feel like I am reading through a foreign language that doesn’t make any sense. I want to give them some constructive feedback but it feels like I am mostly commenting on grammar and vocabulary or style elements such as those in Strunk & White’s book, The Elements of Style. It wasn’t as foreign as some reviews I have done, though, so I think I was able to give him some helpful suggestions.

It was nice having someone outside the class review my project. I planned to have a friend I used to work with (who was a grant writer) do it, thinking she would be a very knowledgeable source that could offer me valuable suggestions. I realized before I asked her, though, that the community I analyzed in the revision of my web genre discourse community project was mostly a suicide support community, and her husband had committed suicide. I didn’t want to cause her any distress so I asked my boyfriend to do it instead.

What I have experienced in any projects he’s helped me with, and proved true for this one as well, is that he is extremely reluctant to do any review or give me any constructive criticism about a project. I get the idea he is either having flashbacks to when he was in college (and not in a good way), or he is afraid that I am going to be offended by what he has to say so he doesn’t want to say anything. The thing I have always noticed is that when I do get his help or his feedback, it is always useful information that helps improve my writing. In this case, his comments were almost exactly the same as the comments from my peer reviewer. That fact definitely helped affirm the value of both reviewer’s feedback and made it worth the sweet-talking I had to do to get his review. 

Having peer reviews on writing projects is generally something I appreciate very much. My classmates often have good insights into what would improve my work and I always feel like the final product is better for having been reviewed. The reviews people did on my projects in this class proved to be insightful and helpful in the same way. I almost always took their advice and it made this the most useful aspect of peer reviews in this class.

I found the least useful part of the peer review process this semester was probably the surveys we completed after all the reviews except this last one. Frequently, college students are scrambling to get any writing project completed. This semester, most of my classmates seemed to frequently talk about all the work they had to do. We talked in class many times about being swamped with too much work to get done. I doubt if I am the only one of my classmates that felt as if it was all I could do to find the time to finish the peer reviews. Having to take more time when I completed those to essentially review the review was frankly just annoying. I understand the reason for it, but I think it may be better if we were told to type the answers to the questions from the surveys at the end of each paper we review. That would save our professor the time it took to do the spreadsheet of results, and it would enable the students to answer the questions while the content was still fresh in their minds.

I think the worst part of peer reviews this semester was probably worrying about offending the people whose projects I reviewed. I know part of the problem that may cause offense is that I tend to be all business in a review, focusing on the project and not on how I am relating my messages to the authors. While I was stressed over having to watch what I said to everyone, I think that helped me to keep in mind my audience and adjust my comments to attempt heading off problems. When I really want to say to my peers about the reviews is, “suck it up and deal with it,” but our experienced this semester helped me learn to take a deep breath and pause for a few seconds and then phrase my comments in a friendlier manner. That’s a good thing; I can use the practice with developing patience.

Post 14: Web sites/blogs similar to The Semicolon Project

The site I am analyzing is The Semicolon Project.  Started by a suicide survivor, they now have a website, a blog, a Facebook page, and profiles on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and Google+. However, the content on all the different platforms is very similar or identical.

The name of the group is based on the punctuation mark – a semicolon. It says that when a writer uses a semicolon, he is indicating that there is more to come, the story isn’t over. This symbol was adopted by the founder of the project who got a tattoo of a semicolon to remind her that her story isn’t over and that there is more waiting to be written. Most of the people who interact with this group are telling their stories and sharing their tattoos with the community.

The notable thing about this site is that it is not a treatment or outreach site with crisis intervention. There is a lot of encouragement and motivation in the discourse community; they provide links to crisis and other outreach resources but clearly state that they don’t do that. What they do is provide a place for people to write about their stories, to share their experiences, whether they are suicide survivors or family survivors. Their goal is to de-stigmatize depression and suicide.

I found a few similar sites with the same type of discourse community.

The Trevor Project is geared to LGBTQ youth, ages 13-24. They do outreach but they have a social networking site called Trevor Space where LGBTQ youth and their friends and family can interact very much like on The Semicolon Project.

The National Eating Disorders Association has a blog where visitors can interact much the same. Proud2Bme is their site where people with any eating disorders can go for news, inspiration, learning, and to get involved.

Live Through This is an organization started by a girl who photographs and interviews people and then puts their stories on the website to provide hope and encouragement to others. While the resulting images and texts are very similar to The Semicolon Project, the founder is actually having discourse with the people and doing the writing after the live interviews and photo shoots.

The online community called The Mighty is for people who face disability, disease and mental illness—together. They also do outreach and other support but they have a blog that is meant to provide a story-based health community by publishing the real stories of the visitors meant to inspire and encourage others.

themighty

Blog Post 13: Comparing Discourse Community and Activity Theory Analyis

Activity theory is “a framework to analyze how texts function and why texts used in a system of activity contain particular content and specific conventions,” like formatting, style, and organization. Doing an activity system analysis will help you find the specific contexts to study to determine what factors influence and change the tool of writing.

A discourse community is a rhetorical framework used to analyze how people use language and texts to achieve common goals.

So, Activity Theory analysis looks at text function and content within a group, and Discourse Community analysis looks at how a group’s use of texts and lang accomplishes the group’s goals.

The community I am analyzing uses several genres of text, including Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, blog messages, and a website. These are all different genres but the content crosses throughout the different platforms. In comparing this community to others within the larger genre of suicide prevention and assistance, discourse community analysis helps you discern that it is noticeably different than most others because it doesn’t do outreach. This is apparent when doing an activity system analysis because you are looking at the function of the texts and the content of the texts analyzed. So, AT will help define the function and content of the system’s texts and DC analysis will help define exactly what is accomplished.

Activity Theory

An activity system (group of people working together) has several characteristics:

  • They are ongoing–how systems function over time.
  • They are object-directed--the activities pertinent to activity theory are directed toward specific goals.
  • They are historically conditioned–the systems were created because of practices that have a history.
  • They are dialectically structured–there are different aspects that are mutually dependent so when one changes, others change in response, and we can’t anticipate all the changes.
  • They are tool mediated–people use different tools to accomplish the work of the system, including physical objects or systems of symbols, like math.
  • They have human interactions–activity theory studies are more concerned with how people work together, use tools, toward outcomes, than they are in individual actions. (276)

When you complete an activity system analysis, your goal is to understand the people in the system and how and why they use the tools they do. Activity systems are limited by divisions of labor and by rules, Ex. employee manuals or student handbooks

The critical components of an activity system are the reciprocal relationships in a system: Tools, Rules, and Division of Labor. Three components of those relationships are Motives, Subject, and Community.

Discourse Community

A discourse community is a group of people who share certain language-using practices. The practices of lang. within a group are different than with outsiders. Swales gives six defining characteristics of a discourse community (things to look for and consider to figure out what’s happening in different situations involving texts and language.

  • common goals, (also in AT)
  • participatory mechanisms,
  • information exchange,
  • community specific genres, (also in AT)
  • a highly specialized terminology, and
  • a high general level of expertise.”

Swales asserts that discourse communities:

  • are focused on the written rather than spoken communication; (AT can be either)
  • are a sociorhetorical grouping; (AT is not necessarily; can be other)
  • have functional determinants with common objectives outside of social reasons. (also in AT)
  • Are centrifugal in terms of the fabric of society (tend to separate people into occupational or special-interest groups); (also in AT)
  • recruit members by persuasion, training, or relevant qualification;”
  • “the communicative needs of the goals tend to predominate in the development and maintenance of its discoursal characteristics”(Swales 220); and
  • “distance between members — geographically, ethnically, and socially –presumably means that they do not form a speech community.” (AT members must interact)

According to Kain and Wardle, when you do a rhetorical analysis, it tells you about a text:  Ex, when writing a proposal, want to know how proposals are constructed in the field, (what are proposals like in the xxx field?). What types of info do they include? How are they formatted? Name its textual features—length, content, layout, type of lang used—and name the rhetorical situation as much as you are able from looking at a doc—the writer, audience, purpose.

Swales’ article says, “Genres develop over time in response to recurring rhetorical needs.” A genre is a tool of a discourse community.  Texts are tools in activity theory.

“When people write, they draw on the genres they know, their own context of genres, to help construct their rhetorical action. So rhetorical analysis, like discourse community analysis, can be done on a text but it won’t tell you:

  • why the text is a certain length;
  • why it contains certain types of content and not others;
  • doesn’t help you understand who does what tasks in regard to the doc. (Is it written by one or more people? Do several people contribute info?)
  • why some are involved in the writing and not others.
  • won’t remind you that the genre has likely changed within a specific social service org;
  • won’t suggest that you explore whether features of the text genre in the analyzed text are uncontested. (pg 280)

Comparison of Dirk’s Genre and Swales’ Discourse Community

In Swales’ article titled, The Concept of Discourse Community, in the initial framing of the reading, the last paragraph on the first page says, “Discourse community is the first of two frames for analysis that this chapter provides in order to help you consider how people use texts and language to accomplish work together.” I think that’s just a fancy way of saying that, just like genres, discourse or speech communities are different ways of categorizing groups of people who evaluate media of all kinds, be it video, audio, research, poetry, etc.

The same paragraph then says that Swales gives us things to look for and consider in order to figure out what’s happening in different situations involving texts and language. To me, that summary of what Swales does in this article basically means we will want to analyze our audience when creating a text or language in order to reach them most effectively; that we will want to match the form of our discourse (genre) to the audience it is intended for. That explains to me why we are going so deeply into these topics of genre and discourse community.

I think of genre as a system of grouping devised to help people categorize whatever medium they are talking about.  I guess you would kind of have to know what is appropriate to put things in the correct category, or at least the most appropriate one.

I was struck by the following part of Dirk’s essay: “When people write, they draw on the genres they know, their own context of genres, to help construct their rhetorical action. If they encounter a situation new to them, it is the genres they have acquired in the past that they can use to shape their new action. Every genre they acquire, then, expands their genre repertoire and simultaneously shapes how they might view new situations. (Devitt, Writing 203)” I think this is a good example of why I read that to be a successful writer, you need to be a voracious reader.  I would just add to that recommendation that the reading needs to be varied so you continue to learn and develop as a writer.

This is so true.  I spent so many years as a court reporter reading nothing but legalese that I tend to think in that “genre” now. It’s what I know and I’m comfortable with it. I need to remember that the vast majority of the population is not.  Thinking about it now, I realize that there were different genres within that “legal discourse community” and even separate discourse communities under the umbrella of the judicial system.

I substituted in different courtrooms at different times in my career, and there was a completely different vocabulary in the different types of law.  Civil trials were completely different than criminal trials and there was also different communities in the family law courts and the juvenile law courts. Then I moved to Michigan and found that the discourse was different here compared to California.

And within the court reporting community there were also different discourse communities: reporters who worked in court, with their various sub-communities; reporters who worked as deposition or hearing reporters, and reporters who worked as captioners, which was broken down into realtime or live captioning and captioning that is added later. There was even different sub-groups amongst the deposition reporters, like workers’ compensation depositions, expert testimony depositions, general civil depositions, medical malpractice and accident reconstruction, accounting and engineering — I could go on and on breaking down each into circles that overlap others in different ways.

I never really thought about where genres came from or who made the “rules” for different writing genres either. But it wasn’t that many years ago that there was no social media, so that was a new genre that people had to come up with a genre to go with it.  And Twitter was a whole new genre itself, even though it was social media. I notice that some of it is common sense, which isn’t all that common, but besides the practical reasons for certain practices when using Twitter, it’s interesting trying to figure out who the people were or are that kind of set the tone for its use.

 

 

On the second page, second paragraph, it explains that “genres are types of texts that are recognizable to readers and writers”… and “meet the needs of the rhetorical situations in which they function.” That is what Dirk basically said.

The 3rd paragraph says that “genres develop over time in response to recurring rhetorical needs.”  I wasn’t so sure about that statement but this is basically what Dirk said, too.

Swales shows how different discourse communities all have genres that even people outside the community recognize. That makes sense to me when I think about groups like Special Ops or Navy SEALS or something. I don’t understand their speech or discourse, but I recognize it when I see it.

The last paragraph of the intro says that, “It might be helpful to think of genres as textual tools used by groups of people as they work toward their desired ends; genres and the conventions that guide them change as the community discovers more efficient adaptations, as group membership changes, or as the group’s desired ends change.”

Trying to break that down, I thought of changes in style, like MLA or APA or changes in accepted spellings, like “website” or “web site,” etc. I didn’t think there would be that much change, but I realized that it is true, although the changes seem to move slowly. They do point out that new technologies help make the analysis and dissemination of the information more efficient, which is also something I’ve noticed. I think new technologies also help create new genres and discourse and speech communities that never existed in the past, too.

While I have questions about some of his criteria for what constitutes a speech or discourse community, he does say in the second paragraph of section 2.1 that “the relevant point in the present context is that it has been appropriated by the ‘social perspectivists’ for their variously applied purposes in writing research. It is this use that I wish to explore and in turn appropriate.” Swales then quotes a few different people’s definitions of discourse community before he admits that we need to clarify what should be understood as discourse community, and he says: “it is better to offer a set of criteria sufficiently narrow that it will eliminate many of the marginal, blurred and controversial contenders.”(216) I definitely concur in that.

He continues to lay out his process for determining what the “list of criteria” should constitute. I think Dirk’s explanation of her thoughts was much easier to understand, but he does manage to get the point across, which is then demonstrated in the list of six criteria that he came up with.

On page 219, section 2.2, he lists several peoples’ definitions of a speech community and quotes Hymes who gives multiple criteria: a community sharing knowledge of rules for conduct and interpretation of speech that must comprise both 1. knowledge of at least one form of speech, and 2. knowledge also of its patterns of use.

I think his attempts to clarify the difference between speech and discourse communities is rather long and unnecessary. He could have just said that speech communities are a concept used by sociolinguistics and discourse communities are focused on the written rather than spoken communication (219).

On page 220, he gives a second reason for separating the two concepts: distinguishing a sociolinguistic grouping from a sociorhetorical one. He also says that speech community determinants are social, whereas discourse community determinants are functional, with common objectives outside of social reasons.

“In a discourse community, the communicative needs of the goals tend to predominate in the development and maintenance of its discoursal characteristics” (Swales 220).

He then gives a third reason to differentiat between speech and discourse communities: “In terms of the fabric of society, speech communities…tend to absorb people into that general fabric, whereas discourse communities…tend to separate people into occupational or specialty-interest groups). A speech community typically inherits its membership by birth, accident or adoption; a discourse community recruits its members by persuasion, training or relevant qualification.”

I thought that was a very insightful observation. I had to think about groups, trying to see if that could be applied across the board, and I couldn’t think of any that didn’t fit the criteria, although he did say “tend to” so he wasn’t rigid about it.

When he goes on to list his six defining characteristics, I was surprised by some of his comments. In his first criteria, he says …”much more typical non-adversarial discourse community, reduction in the broad level of agreement may fall to a point where communication breaks down and the discourse community splits. It is the commonality of goal, not shared object of study that is criterial, even if the former often subsumes the latter.”

I liked his example of a Vatican discourse community—it may be a common object of study, but the students can be from different groups and not form a community. His examples of Vatican history students, the Kremlin, dioceses, birth control agencies, and liberation theology seminaries made this statement very clear.

His fourth criteria is that “a discourse comm. utilizes and hence possesses one or more genres in the communicative furtherance of its aims”(221). He says, “a discourse community has developed and continues to develop discoursal expectations. These may involve appropriacy of topics, the form, function and positioning of discoursal elements, and the roles texts play in the operation of the discourse community.”

From my interpretation of Dirk’s essay on genre, the form he is talking about is the accepted genres in that community. I wasn’t so sure this criteria was true—it’s hard to envision a discourse community “possessing” a genre. But then he quotes Martin, explaining, “In so far as ‘genres are how things get done, when language is used to accomplish them’, these discoursal expectations are created by the genres that articulate the operations of the discourse community”(221-222).

He goes on to say new discourse comm’s need to sit down and figure out their practices, and I don’t think that is necessarily true. So I understand this to mean that genres are the framework of different discourse communities, acting as the expected form of communications for the group.

After he goes through his example of the Hong Kong Postal group he is in, he gives a much shorter list of the six criteria: “There are common goals, participatory mechanisms, information exchange, community specific genres, a highly specialized terminology and a high general level of expertise.” He also explains that “distance between members geographically, ethnically and socially presumably means that they do not form a speech community.”

See how he considers genres to be one of the things that discourse communities have in common? After this information, he goes into the remaining issues that need to be addressed. He rephrases the last one in Bizzell’s terms:

Discourse community is a group of people who share certain language-using practices that can be seen as conventionalized in two ways: stylistic conventions regulate social interactions within the group and in dealing with outsiders. To this extent “discourse community” borrows from sociolinguistic’s idea of “speech community” (224).

“Also, canonical knowledge regulates the world-views of group members, how they interpret experience; to this extent ‘discourse community’ borrows from the literary-critical concept of “interpretive community” (225).

Here is where I have to disagree with Bizzell. Swales’ example of undercover agents who don’t assimilate into their communities is demonstrative. Swales also disagrees with this idea and says, “the extent to which discourse is constitutive of world-view would seem to be a matter of investigation rather than assumption,” stating he doesn’t accept assimilation of world view or a threshold level of personal involvement as criterial. I agree with Swales’ opinion that delineating these variable features sheds an interesting light on the whole study of contextual writing.

In his conclusion, Swales gives us a final disclaimer: “It is necessary to concede that the account I have provided of discourse community for all its attempts to offer a set of pragmatic and operational criteria, remains in at least one sense somewhat removed from reality. It is utopian and ‘oddly free of many of the tensions, discontinuities and conflicts in the sorts of talk and writing that go on every day in the classrooms and departments of an actual university (Harris)” (Swales 227). He even quotes the dissembling of some of the other experts he quoted in the paper and claims that conflictive discourse communities need to be studied.

I personally don’t see the need for studying conflictual communities because I can’t fathom the “experts” ever coming to a consensus. Look at how long the Israelis and the Arabs have been fighting–even the Palestinian diplomat I met in Ramallah said he doubts they will never get along.

 

Blog post 9 ~ Elements vs. Style

We first read The Elements of Style by Strunk and White, and then started Williams’ Style: Toward Clarity and Grace. I found that these two books say basically the same thing. However, they say it in such different manners that most people who read both books get the impression they are completely different. The following examples, all from the Principles of Composition section of Elements, demonstrate what I mean.

Example 1

Elements: (pg. 18) #14 “Use the active voice. The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive”…”This rule does not… mean that the writer should entirely discard the passive voice, which is frequently convenient and sometimes necessary.”…“The habitual use of the active voice, however, makes for forcible writing.”

Style: (pgs 36-38) “Passives and Agents.…you can make your style more direct if you also avoid unnecessary passive verbs. In active sentences, the subject typically expresses the agent of an action, and the object expresses the goal or the thing changed by the action”…”In passive sentences the subject expresses the goal of an action; a form of be precedes a past participle form of the verb”…“To choose between the active and the passive, we have to answer two questions: First, must our audience know who is performing the action? Second, are we maintaining a logically consistent string of subjects? And third, if the string of subjects is consistent, is it the right string of subjects?”

Example 2

Elements: (pg 19) #15 “Put statements in positive form. Make definite assertions. Avoid tame, colorless, hesitating, noncommittal language. Use the word not as a means of denial or in antithesis, never as a means of evasion.”

Style: (pgs 130-131) “Not the Negative.  For all practical purposes, these two sentences mean about the same thing:

Don’t write in the negative.                               Write in the affirmative.

But if we want to be more concise and direct we should prefer: Write in the affirmative. To understand many negatives, we have to translate them into affirmative, because the negative may only imply what we should do by telling us what we shouldn’t do. The affirmative states it directly.”

Example 3

Elements: (pg. 21) #16 “Use definite, specific, concrete language. Prefer the specific to the general, the definite to the vague, the concrete to the abstract.”

Style: (pg. 24)  “You may have been told to write more specifically, more concretely. When we turn verbs into nouns and then delete the characters, we fill a sentence with abstraction.”…”Often, we have to supply indefinite subjects, because the sentence expresses a general statement.”

Example 4

Elements:  (pg. 23) #17 Omit Needless Words.  “Vigorous writing is concise.”…”this requires that…every word tell.”

Style: (p. 115-116)  “To write clearly, we have to know not only how to manage the flow of ideas but also how to express them concisely. These two principles are easier to state than to follow. 1. Usually, compress what you mean into the fewest words. 2. Don’t state what your reader can easily infer.”

Example 5

Elements:  (pg. 32) #22 “Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end.  The proper place in the sentence for the word or group of words that the writer desires to make most prominent is usually the end”…“The word or group of words entitled to this position of prominence is usually the logical predicate—that is, the new element in the sentence”… “The effectiveness of the periodic sentence arises from the prominence it gives to the main statement.”

Style:  (p 67-69) Ch. 4 Emphasis: “Because one element that opens a sentence is so important, we named it topic. Since the end of a sentence plays a role no less crucial, we should give it a name as well…This rising pitch and stress signal the end of a sentence. We’ll call that part of a sentence its stress.”…

”Managing Endings.  Manage the information in this stressed part of the sentence in several ways.”

Now that you’ve read a little of both texts, do you see what I mean? Williams is more conversational, more approachable and human in his instruction. We don’t feel like he is the drill sergeant screaming in our face that we have to listen to, which is often how readers of Elements seem to feel. Williams also goes into detail explaining his maxims with examples, much more so than in Elements. I don’t think the examples from either book say anything contradictory, but it feels like they do simply because of their manner.

I didn’t know any of the authors but I would venture a guess that part of the difference in their styles is simply because of the time in which each was written: Elements was first published in 1919; Style was first published in 1989. Another circumstance that may be a small factor is that Strunk’s audience was mostly affluent white male college students while Williams’ audience is more generally college students. Does this matter in the grand scheme of things? Not really, I guess. As long as students learn the principles they describe, that’s what matters.

However, the more approachable style of Williams’ writing is far more appealing to most young adults, who make up the majority of college students using the book (the intended audience) which means that Williams did a better job of speaking to his audience in a style they relate to and, therefore, his book is better.